Kronos vs. Kairos

A couple weeks ago, my wife Tabbi had scheduled an unplanned (for me at least) visit with our son, daughter-in-law, and our new grandson.

And, like a typical entrepreneur, my calendar was packed with business commitments - calls that people were counting on, meetings that had been scheduled for weeks, and a nagging to-do list.

When I discovered the conflict, the internal war and self-talk started immediately. "I really need to be on that call..." But she was counting on me to be there, and they were counting on me to be there.

Tabbi had told me about the meeting multiple times but for some reason it didn't make it on my calendar. And when it's not on my calendar, to me, it simply does't exist.

I had a choice: stick to the business schedule or honor the family plan.

I chose family.

When I held my grandson, now six months old, he looked at me with a gaze of pure reverence, as if to say, "I've been so excited to meet you!"

He smiled, and I smiled back with tears filling my eyes.

If I'd said to my family, "I can't make it, if have a business commitment," this exact moment would have been missed and gone forever.

You can't schedule reverence, awe, and wonder.

The clock doesn't care about or prioritize magic moments. That's up to us.

Our pastor shared something last weekend that connected the dots for me...something the ancient Greeks understood 2,000 years ago, something that's costing consultants a lot, both in revenue and irreplaceable moments with the people they love.

Here's what I have for you in this issue:

🛠️ Kronos vs. Kairos: The two types of time and why the tyranny of the clock causes us to miss the magic moments in business and life

🤖 The "Kairos Capacity Audit" Prompt: Design your calendar to create space for magic moments

The Two Times

The ancient Greeks had two different words for time.

Kronos is clock time. It's sequential, measurable, and manageable. The 60-minute consultation, the 90-day project, the scheduled Tuesday morning meeting.

Kairos is opportune time. It's the right moment, the magic moment, when everything falls in place and something significant becomes possible.

We worship Kronos. We schedule Kronos, we bill by Kronos, we let Kronos run our entire lives. But all the magic happens in Kairos, and the tragedy is, unfortunately:

Kronos kills Kairos if we let it.

I've written before about working with natural rhythms - circadian, ultradian, infradian. Those are predictable cycles you can plan around. They're Kronos rhythms, measurable, manageable, repeatable.

But Kairos doesn't follow a rhythm. It doesn't repeat. It arrives unannounced and leaves just as quickly, and you either catch it or you don't. Like my scheduling snafu with my family, you can optimize every Kronos rhythm perfectly and still miss all the magic if you're not paying attention to Kairos.

The Tyranny of the Clock in Business

Think about the Kairos moments we miss every single day.

Your client casually mentions a $200K problem while you're glancing at your calendar for the next meeting. You note it mentally but don't stop, and the moment passes. They never bring it up again with that same energy.

A prospect is ready to sign right now, and you can feel it. But you make them wait for "the process," the proposal, the scheduled follow-up call. By the time you circle back, they've talked themselves out of it or found someone else.

The perfect referral moment arrives when your client is talking about you to their peer group and they're excited. But you're following your CRM timeline that says "ask for referrals at 90 days," and the moment passes.

A team member needs to talk, and you can see it in their eyes. But you say "let's schedule something," and by the time that meeting arrives, they've decided not to bring it up.

The energy in a workshop shifts and breakthrough is possible right now. But you stick to the agenda because that's what the clock says you should cover next.

The Tyranny of the Clock in Life

Your kid says "Dad, watch this!" and you say "One second, honey." That second never comes, and sadly, they stop asking.

Your spouse wants to talk about their day but you're checking email. The moment when they would have opened up passes, and they close back down.

Your parent calls but you're "too busy" and you'll call back this weekend. But by the weekend, what they wanted to share doesn't feel important anymore.

Your grandson is looking at you with ancient recognition and your phone buzzes.

Here's the equation most of us live by: "I can always do this later." But Kairos teaches us: "This moment will never come again."

The Expectation Prison

Listen...you're going to disappoint someone.

When I chose to visit my grandson, someone else didn't get what they expected from me that day. A call got rescheduled, a meeting got moved, and someone had to wait.

People create expectations of us, often without our agreement.
"You're always available."
"You'll respond immediately."
"Your business comes first."
"You never miss a scheduled call."

We didn't agree to these expectations, but we feel imprisoned by them anyway.

The breakthrough comes when you get comfortable consciously choosing who to disappoint.

Disappoint the calendar to honor the moment.

Disappoint the email to honor the conversation.

Disappoint the "always available" expectation to honor the "right now" opportunity.

You're choosing between disappointing business contacts you can reschedule or disappointing a moment that will never come again.

I'm learning to get good at saying no and being at peace with disappointing people, even people I care about and respect. Sometimes especially them.

Recognizing Kairos

Kairos moments have a signature feeling to them. Energy shifts in the room, someone's eyes light up, the conversation goes deeper without prompting. You feel a pull to stop and pay attention, time seems to slow down, and something feels significant.

In business, it looks like this: the prospect stops asking questions and starts planning as if they've already decided. The client's body language shifts from guarded to open, and a team member finally says what they've been holding back.

In life, it looks like this: eye contact that goes deeper than usual, your kid stops playing and asks a real question, stillness in the middle of chaos. Your grandson locks eyes with you and smiles.

Creating Space for Kairos

You can't schedule Kairos, but you can create conditions where you won't miss it.

First, build what I call "Kairos capacity" into your calendar. Not every hour should be scheduled, so leave gaps for magic. The consultant charging $300/hour who's booked solid often misses $30K opportunities because there's no space to recognize them.

Second, practice moment recognition. When energy shifts, stop. When someone's eyes light up, lean in. When you feel that pull, honor it. These aren't interruptions to your schedule - they're the whole point.

Third, give yourself permission to break the schedule. The call can wait, the meeting can be rescheduled, and your reputation won't collapse if you say "Something important came up."

Fourth, remember you're risking disappointing people either way. Stick to schedule and you disappoint the person or opportunity in front of you. Break schedule and you might disappoint the calendar commitment. Which disappointment can you live with?

The Magic Moments

Kronos is your servant, not your master. The schedule matters, but magic matters more.

The real tragedy isn't a missed meeting - it's a missed life.

My grandson won't remember whether I showed up on Tuesday or Thursday. But that moment when he looked into my soul and smiled...that's permanent. That's written on my heart forever.

Don't let the tyranny of the clock cause you to miss the magic moments in your business and in your life. They're happening all around you. You just have to be willing to look up from your calendar long enough to see them.

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P.S.: When you're ready, here are more ways I can help you...